


Scars

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26704807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: A post-series fic - Barbara thinks and Tommy reassures
Relationships: Barbara Havers/Thomas Lynley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended
> 
> I've also stolen and mangled a speech by Krevlornswath (played by the late and much missed Andy Hallett, who I was very lucky to meet at Nocturnal 3K... he was such a sweetheart). 
> 
> Taken from the A:tS episode 'Epiphany' written by Tim Minear and Mere Smith... it always makes me laugh and I could just hear Barbara saying it.

I never use to worry about my body image. Everything about my appearance was a shield, a way to protect myself. My clothes were functional and comfortable, and I didn’t care about hair, make-up or jewelry, a perfect match for my personality, which I liked to categorise as ‘leave me the fuck alone’.

Protecting myself became even more important after I was shot, an event that left me with reminders physically and mentally. PTSD changed my personality, but I did my best to hide it. That worked until it didn’t, until I was held hostage at gunpoint. That was when the dam broke, and everything that I’d been holding deep inside of me came flooding out.

Tommy was there, and he caught me as I fell apart.

That event was the turning point. Tommy himself said I seemed stronger, and he was right. I decided to embrace life and live it fully.

My positive outlook brought other changes. I began to care about my self-image, dressing smartly and styling my hair in a more feminine manner. I let people get close, developed friendships, enjoyed myself.

And then I took care of Tommy, just as he had taken care of me.

It’s taken time, patience, and a lot of understanding to get to where we are now, a place that I never expected to be. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t hoped. There’d been a lot of hoping.

And wishing.

And quite a bit of fantasising, but that’s a tale for another time.

“Barbara?”

My train of thought derailed, I glanced up at Tommy and smiled. “You sound surprised. Did you expect me to have turned into someone else while you were in the bathroom?”

Sitting on the bed, he leant against me. “The thought never crossed my mind, but…”

“You were concerned that I might have changed my mind and left.”

“You have seemed a little…”

I nudged him gently in the ribs. “Are you ever going to finish a sentence?”

“You’ve seemed a little nervous, and a bit distracted.”

“I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to run away.”

“Will you tell me what’s on your mind?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just a bit apprehensive you’re going to take one look at my naked body, scars and all, and go ‘gueeeyah’.”

“I won’t.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“Just because.”

“Is this another round of ‘Guess the End of the Sentence’?”

“No.”

“Then I repeat my question, because what?”

He scooted up the bed, his back against the headboard, and then held out his hand. “Lie with me.”

Even though I was confused, I went willingly. I curled against him, my head in his lap. Absently, he stroked my hair.

“We all carry scars, physical and emotional. The thing is, when we meet the right person, they see beyond them. They see the real person. I see you Barbara, and I love you, scars and all.”


End file.
